Words the Cast of Ronin Warriors Would Never Say

3.

Ryo: (touches orb.) OW! Damn, that’s hot!

Nah, nah, nah! I have the Inferno and you don’t!

(waves hand in front of Sage’s right eye.) Can you see out of

that eye?

Rowen: (looking at kindergarten book) B… bal… ball? (confused look.)

Mia! What’s this word?!

(In space.) Unnnnn, I don’t feel so good! (suddenly vomits all over.)

(during practice, jumps.) OUCH! DAMN THESE FUCKING

ARROWS!

Cye: (carrying fishing pole.) Who wants to go fishing!

What are you looking at? Want me to pound ya? Come over here

so I can kick your ass!

(kitchen blows up) Mia! I did it again! This gonna come out of my

allowance again?!

Sage: (admiring self in subarmor.) Damn, do I have a nice ass!

(someone turns on the light.) TURN THAT FUCKING LIGHT OUT!

(sees Mia for first time. thinks) Damn, girl, get some fashion sense!

Kento: (sees hamburger.) Yuck! Food! Keep it away! Keep it away!

Guys, I’ve decided to go on a diet.

(quotes from dictionary.) Chorion: watertight protective membrane

surrounding the embroys of reptiles, birds, and mammals; from

the Greek chorion, meaning "fetal membrane"

Sekhmet: (wakes in middle of night, has to go really bad. Sees snakes on floor,

trembles in fear) I think I’ll hold it!

(pets dolphin.) Good, boy! I love you so much! I could just pet you all

day. Yes I could! (hugs dolphin.)

You know, you should never play with poison. It’s dangerous!

Cale: (sees wolf walking behind him.) Get lost you stupid wolf!

(sees Rowen for first time.) Are you my twin?!

(in darkened room.) SOMEONE GET MY NIGHT LIGHT!!!!

Dais: (cries.) My eye! I can’t see! Wait, it’s just my eye patch.

Why use my illusions on the Ronins, when I can create illusions of the most

beautiful women posing in bikinis right in front of me?

Spiders give me the creeps. (stomps on spider.)

Anubis: Quake with…. (gets hit with chains.) OW! Dammit!

(puzzled look) This is the Ancient’s Mystical Staff? I thought

it was just a walking stick!

(picks up a pair of shears, starts chasing random Ronin.) Come

back, Wildfire! You need a hair cut! It’s for your own good!

Mia: Grandfather, why learn about ancient armors, when I can be a model? (yeah, right Mia, with those clothes?)

(looking at all five Ronins) Mhmhmhmhmhm! Where to begin!

(puts sign above house) The Koji Mansion. $500 dollars a night!

Yulie: Ancient, what are the answers to next week’s math test?

For sale! Jewel of Life! For a Mystical Armor! I’ll throw in a Ronin too!

$100.00 says that Talpa kicks Ryo’s ass!

Ryo: You little #%^&*$@$&! (um, I’m not going to put down what Ryo is

really saying to Yulie.)

Ancient: You’re Ronin Warriors. Why do I always have to save your asses?

Why the hell did I make Talpa’s armor into nine mystical armors? I could have myself a brand new Porsche!

(watches Ronins and Warlords.) This is one reason why I stayed a virgin!

Talpa: (picks up phone.) Hello, 911? This is Talpa, the Ronins are trying to…. (click) H.. hello? Hello?

(starts singing.) Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! (stops.) You’re right, I sound like damn frog in heat!

(tosses Ryo a key) Here, Ryo, you can have the Dynasty. I’m off to Disney Land!

White Blaze: What am I doing walking around the middle of Japan? I could be getting a date right now!

That’s it Wildfire, go up to the volcano. I like my meat well done!

Ryo, don’t bother slapping the kid next time, I’ll just eat him. (pauses.) Wait, I might get indigestion .